William Xiao

Beloved members of Imperial College History Society! I stand (virtually) before you today, not as your current Events Officer, nor as a second-year student of Mathematics, but as the lowliest of paupers, daring barely to rattle my upturned cap in your direction to ask for your valued vote.

My feats number few, so competent and provident have my fellow committee members been, but I have diligently and dutifully carried out my obligations of assisting in the organisation of the epoch-defining Assassins Game, which shall surely go down in History Society history, navigating the treacherous and labyrinthine terrain of Exhibition Road to reach the Royal College of Music Museum, and preparing a mediocre meal for the banquet held at the grand abode of Her Royal Highness the President. The standard beneath which we muster was also redesigned this year by yours truly.

If you could deign to entertain the thought of casting your vote in my favour, I swear upon my honour that I shall endeavour to deliver events to the same excellent standard that you have become accustomed to this year, including a second chance to prove your worth and tenacity in a game of Assassins.

My resolutions have been made, the cards laid out, the die cast. I leave the fate of this esteemed society in your magnanimous hands.

In other words, please vote for me, I don't know who this Ron guy is but I swear I'll do a better job than him.