Evan Hammerstein

Hi everybody...

As fun and amazing being your social sec was... as a 4th year next year I've decided I have to stop drinking and lock in. With that change, my vibes will soon disappear and I will become the image of serious behavior and dedication. Therefore, my title must change from social sec to a more serious title to reflect my inner dialogue.

Although everyone keeps telling me,

"PLEASE Evan, we absolutely need you as M1 Captain, ur the best player we have..."

"Evan, can you please just go on the tour, Sinner's winning a few too many matches and you're the only one who can stop him..."

GUYS, PLEASE STOP Im flattered but I already know....

Would I carry and lead M1 single-handedly to promotion? Would I kick Murray out of the Big 4? Absolutely. However, I think there's a more pressing goal: promoting M4 to once again be in the same league as M3 (ew.) and M2 (y'all are ok). AND THIS MY FRIENDS IS MY ONLY GOAL FOR MASTERS YEAR.

For too long has M4 been pushed to the left-most court in Queens. For too long we have had to give up our best players because M2 and M3 can't find enough people who have enough PASSION to play on Wednesdays. I SAY NO MORE!!

I leave you with this. M1, M2, and M3 vote against me. You aren't ready. Your reign of terror is over. It's time for the people to shine. LONG LIVE M4!!!!